Hi everyone! I am really sorry that I haven’t been able to post for so long! I have been busy with school and I am tired most of the time. Most times i plan to write but I don’t have the strength or time. Please pray for me!!! Also, Happy Easter! I can’t believe I haven’t been able to say Happy Easter earlier. We thank God for sending his Son, Jesus Christ to die for our sins and as we celebrate Easter, may we all be renewed in the assurance of his love and mercy. Amen.
I really had to post today because it is the anniversary of my maternal grandmother ‘s death. Mrs Christina Kehinde Palmer. She passed away on April 10th 2008. I really cannot start speaking about how amazing my grandmother was. She was someone who had gone through a lot of suffering from a young age but she survived, praise God.Most of all, her life was a living gospel. My grandmother loved God and all people. Even when she was old herself, she wanted to help out at an old people’s home. P.S She was a nurse. Yay nurses! My grandmother has always been an inspiration to me and through the prayerbook that she gave me , I learned about St Rita, St Jude and of course St Anthony who were my favourite childhood saints. For this and so many other things that she did (buying us soo many gifts, buying Harry Potter because ‘every teenager in London had it’ so she bought one and sent a copy to her teenage grandchildren in Nigeria lol!, convincing my parents to bring us to London, coming to Nigeria to take care of me after my operation, filling our lives with so much joy, drama and great memories ) I will always be thankful for her.
I was in Louisville(boarding school ) at that time because we were preparing for our Junior Secondary school examination. Honestly speaking, i never expected that she was going to die. She was the strongest person i knew. Exactly 10 years before, she had a life threatening illness, everyone thought she would die but she didn’t. When she fell ill in 2008, I was sure without a tinge of doubt that she would be back on her feet in no time. Before I went to school, my grandmother wasn’t feeling well and my mum had to go to see her. I thought she just wanted to be with her; I had no idea that she was going to stay with her on her deathbed (My grandmother and my mum’s siblings lived in London and my mum lived in Nigeria ). Looking back, I guess everyone except me knew the gravity of my grandmother ‘s illness or maybe i was just too naive. It was one of the two times i remember my mother crying, when her mum was ill and when I had my operation. After my operation, i either overslept or the anaesthetic dosage was too much. I remember faintly waking up and seeing my mum crying because I was taking too long to wake up so she was scared. The day i saw my mum crying about her mum’s illness, I remember saying something like don’t worry, she’ll be fine in no time, have some faith. I wasn’t just saying it to cheer my mum up, i was saying it because I believed it. I didn’t understand why they all couldn’t see that she’d be fine.
When I got to school, i kept praying for my grandmother to feel better soon, i don’t even know how many novenas that I did. I was 100% sure that when my sisters joined me in school the following week, i would hear good news. However, things didn’t turn out the way i wanted them to. I will never forget that day that my sisters resumed school and I met my parents. My class was having a maths workshop and I got called out to meet my parents outside. My joy knew no bounds, had i known the news that i was about to receive, I would probably not have gone out with so much happiness. I don’t remember if my mum was back , who exactly told me or my exact reaction but I remember thinking they were trying to mess with me. There was no way my grandmother could have passed away without any goodbyes. Unfortunately, I was wrong. My grandmother while she was alive went back and forth between Nigeria and London. She had made a request that she didn’t want her corpse to be flown around so she should be buried in whatever country that she passed away. Hence, my parents were going to London for the burial and there was going to be a memorial service in Nigeria for those who couldn’t go to London for her burial, including her twin sister. Due to the fact that we were in school, my sisters and I couldn’t make it to any of her burial services.
The next few days after hearing about my grandmother ‘s death were very painful and hard for me. I struggled with my faith, i couldn’t comprehend what had happened and I was really worried about my upcoming national exams. Honestly, I think this was the very first time that my prayers weren’t answered and I couldn’t see why. I had experienced setbacks prior to this but I could always trace those back to something that I did wrong or something that I was supposed to do but did not. Other times, it was because something better was coming along. However this time was different. I could not fathom what went wrong or why my grandmother had to die. I was heartbroken and devastated . It was at this time of my life that God revealed himself to me through my friends. I will never forget how they all tried so hard to cheer me up despite the fact that they had their own problems and worries. To all my Louisville sisters who were there for me. I will never be able to repay all the love, compassion and kindness that you showed me during those dark days ❤
Praise God that our exams turned out well at the end and a few months later, I went to wavecrest where I experienced a conversion at the weekend retreat. I also found more sisters that I can always count on, especially my twinnn A ❤
I think one regret that I have regarding my grandmother is something that happened when I was really really small. I just got a new pink rosary and my grandmother commented on how much she loved it. My parents suggested that I gave it to my grandmother but I honestly didn’t want to. I didn’t show my displeasure to anyone but deep inside i was really sad to let go of my favorite rosary and I kept thinking about it for a long time. It turns out that my grandmother did love that rosary; Actually till she passed on, she kept that rosary dear to her. This made me feel so guilty about not wanting to give her the rosary. I wish that I had been more generous and loving and less selfish.I try to be love more in my current relationships.
Baptism is a Sacrament which cleanses us from original sin, makes us Christians, children of God, and members of the Church – Penny Catechism
Through baptism, we are all made children of God and nothing can break that bond not even death. Death cannot separate us grandma, we shall meet again someday in heaven.
May the souls of my grandmothers, Mrs Christina Kehinde Palmer and Mrs Joanna Adebisi Okunubi and the souls of all the faithful departed through the mercy of God rest in peace Amen.
Peace, love and joy,
Fehintola
